Emotional Tanks

Responsible Coaching: Filling Athletes' Emotional Tanks

1/1/2013

One of the key attributes of Responsible Coaches is their ability to “Fill Emotional Tanks.” A person’s “Emotional Tank” is like a car’s gas tank; when it’s full we can go most anywhere, but when it’s empty we go nowhere.

Players with full Emotional Tanks give Responsible Coaches some advantages by being:

• more coachable and likely to listen and respond without resistance
  
• more optimistic
  
• better able to handle adversity.
  

The “fuel” for a youth athlete’s Emotional Tank should be a mix of 5:1 …five specific, truthful pieces of praise for each piece of specific, constructive criticism a coach feels compelled to offer. Many coaches find this hard to believe, because in our own experience as youth athletes, sons, daughters, pupils and employees “coaching” often equals “correcting,” and therefore, praise is not coaching. But a Responsible Coach who fills Emotional Tanks corrects players correctly!  

How to Fill Tanks

The 5:1 ratio does not mean you must utter five praises immediately before correcting a player. That also would ring false. Rather, it means that generally you build players up, mindful of the adage that “They’ll never care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Be sure your Tank Filling extends to non-verbal communication.  You fill Emotional Tanks when you listen, nod, clap, or smile. Tank drainers include ignoring players, frowning, head-shaking, eye-rolling and yelling.

You can set the tone in every practice with warm-up drills that give you a chance to fill tanks. –This provides a natural chance to praise as players succeed at an easier level of drills. By the fifth or sixth time through the warm-up line, as the drill picks up pace and the drills are more difficult, you are more likely to  find yourself in position to correct, and players will be open to it!

Talking to Your Players About Filling Tanks

Early in the season, introduce the Emotional Tank concept to your players. Using age-appropriate expressions and adapting them to your own personal style, let players know:

• Each one of them has an Emotional Tank that fills and drains when they receive praise and criticism.
  
• You don't want to be alone in Filling Tanks. You want them to fill each others’ tanks, too.
  
• The Tank Filling can increase their enjoyment of the sport and help improve their performance.
  
• Teams with full tanks also tend to win more.
  

Tank-Filling Tools

Keeping all your players’ emotional tanks full can be tough, especially those who see less playing time than their teammates. Remember that you can praise players for ways they support the team from the bench (constant positive chatter, pointing out something your opponent is doing to help a teammate on the field, etc.).  And it’s important to make sure your more talented players fill their teammates’ tanks, so that the less talented remain encouraged to continue offering their support

Among the ways you and/or your players can keep tanks full all season long:

• Buddy System. Partner athletes before a practice or a game, and ask them to be responsible for filling each others’ tanks.  When their partners make mistakes, they are responsible for helping them bounce back quickly.  When their partners do something well, they are the first to praise them.  At the end of the practice or game, ask your athletes to share what their teammates what they said or did to keep their tanks full.
  
• Positive Charting. This technique helps you “catch players doing things right.” During practices and games, record positive efforts and plays and then review them with players at the end of the day or at the next team meeting. Your positive chart can simply list of all of your players with space to note two or three of their specific positive acts.  Use this opportunity not just to praise spectacular plays but also to reinforce players’ effort and to call out the grueling gradual improvements players are making. It is important to mention at least one praise-worthy act per player, but remember, it must be truthful and specific.  The role of filling in the chart can rotate between your assistant coaches, your bench (if players are mature enough), and even parents. Positive Charting is a great way to keep injured players engaged with the team, feeling like they are contributing and focused on learning more about their sport by keeping a watchful eye on their teammates.
• Winners Circle. Depending on how many players you coach, you can all gather in a circle, or for larger groups , divide into offensive and defensive players. Once gathered, have each player comment on something specific that a teammate did well during the game. As the coach, you go last, and it's your job to have something specific, truthful and positive to say about each player who has not yet been recognized. 
• Opening and Closing Rituals.  A great Tank Filler can be using an opening and closing ritual.  In the Opening Ritual, players can leave the school day behind them and focus on what you as a team are about to do in the practice or the game and a focus on the outcomes they can control.  In the Closing Ritual, the team reflects on the goals and fills the Tanks of their teammates with specific and truthful praise for goals accomplished, effort given and brushed off mistakes.
  

With these Tank Filling Tools, you and your players are on your way to enjoyment, success and life-lesson benefits of a Responsible Sports experience!

This article is part of the Responsible Coaching series prepared by Positive Coaching Alliance expressly for the Liberty Mutual Insurance Responsible Sports Program.