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Youth Sports Expert Advice | Should my daughter join an A team?

Positive Coaching Alliance Each week, we ask fans of Responsible Sports "What Would You Do?" in response to our weekly Responsible Sports Scenario Question. And many of you write in with scenario questions of your own! So we've asked Tina Syer, Associate Director at Positive Coaching Alliance, to answer one of your suggested questions each week.

Posted on August 6, 2010: Should my daughter join an A team?

A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:

My daughter currently plays on a u-11 B team at a National 5 level and plays 55 minutes of a sixty minute game. She has been offered the last roster spot on the A team that plays an academy level but the coach has stated she will only play 15 minutes per game. My question is will it be better to play more minutes against a lesser quality opponent or less minutes against great opponents?

Dear Chris,

I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all answer to your question, which is what makes it so interesting. I think you should start by having a conversation with your daughter about this. If she has a strong leaning one way or the other, ask her what makes her so sure of this opinion. If she feels split, find out what is pulling her each way. Make sure to let her express her feelings before you let her know where you stand!

Even though she is young, she may have a very clear, well thought out reason for staying on her current team or moving up to the A team, and I would tend to go with her opinion, unless you really feel she is making this choice based on faulty reasoning.

One sort of “faulty” reasoning might be, “I am not good enough to be on the A team.” She clearly is good enough to be on the A team, as the coach has invited her! Making this move might be scary at first, but she’ll have you to support her.

If she does decide that she wants to join the A team, make sure she understands that she will play less (at least initially). You don’t want her to leave a team where she is really enjoying the experience, only to be surprised by the lack of playing time. Perhaps you could even ask the coach of the A team if it would be OK for your daughter to observe one of their practices. This will help her decide if this new team is a good fit for her.

Either choice has its advantages, and as long as your daughter feels like she was empowered during this decision-making process, then she will likely feel good about her decision down the road.

For more, please visit the Responsible Sport Parenting Guide.

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Tina Syer Ask the Expert
Tina Syer is the Associate Director of Positive Coaching Alliance, a nonprofit founded in the Stanford University Athletic Department.  Tina played Division I field hockey at Stanford University, where she graduated with honors in psychology and was named an Academic All-American. 

Her nine years of work for PCA have included keynote presentations for national organizations such as US Lacrosse, USA Water Polo and Special Olympics, more than 250 PCA workshop presentations, and production of multimedia products featuring PCA's National Spokesperson, Phil Jackson.  Tina's coaching experience includes seasons at the high school, college and Olympic Development levels.

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