Posted on October 15, 2010: Family Legacy
A Responsible Sports Fan suggested the following Scenario Question:
Parents have relayed that their 8 year old son has the skill of football in his genes. Dad as well as other family members have played this very same sport and have done awesome. They feel that the coach should include their son in play way more than currently. That may be true however it’s just day 3 of practice and the youngster doesn’t even seem to be interested at all. About six coaches have noticed this as well. However the parents feel the problem lies in last year’s coach as well as this one. The parents have requested a refund from the game and have chosen to pull the player in general.
What's the very best way to show a parent the ugly truth that they don’t want to see, "He just not interested" and that no one’s fault.
Dear Renee,
Having experienced similar situations in my own coaching, I believe this is a time when a Responsible Coach can have a deep and meaningful impact on a young athlete’s life. Clear communication is the key. If you have an athlete that does not appear to want to be at practices/games, take the player aside privately and ask him/her how she is feeling about playing your sport (in this case, football). You may be sure that he doesn’t want to be there, but you may be surprised by what you learn. You might even ask, “Is there anything I can do differently as your coach to get you more involved?”
In the case you describe, where the family feels this player has “football in his genes,” it is likely easier for the player to open up and talk to you (rather than to his parents) about his desire to stop playing. If he does share this with you, you can ask him if he’s already talked with his parents about this. If he says, “no,” and seems unwilling to, you can offer to have this conversation (with or without him) with his parents.
Ultimately, Responsible Coaches and Responsible Sports Parents want their kids to be participating in activities that they (the kids!) personally enjoy, even if these choices do not match our expectations! So getting these issues out in the open is in everyone’s best interest.
For more, please visit the Responsible Coaching guide.
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